One Of Those Navel Gazing, Soul Baring, Self Indugent Explanations

Well kids I am going to take another run at blogging - but - this time it's not going to be strictly baseball.

When I stopped writing regularly a couple of years ago it was for a number of unrelated reasons.  Mainly because of my own laziness and too much white noise.  Laziness is its own explanation, it's a fault I've been working to overcome my entire life and will continue to do so.  White noise is a little different: there are so many baseball blogs, twitter accounts, and God-Know-What-Else on the web boasting useful and useless opinions, most of the time with the same information slanted to reflect the author's point of view (I do include myself in that generalization).  I wasn't sure that I wanted to continue adding decibels to that growing din.

What made me change my mind?  A life changing event.   As most of you know my beloved baseball Mom died very suddenly last October.  The last conversation we had as I was leaving her house was a plan for a World Series watching party with hot dogs, peanuts and cracker jacks.  Two hours after that she was gone.

Since that day my world has turned upside down. I have this gaping hole in my sense of being that I know I can't fill. I've struggled with the stages of grief, trying to figure out what the new normal is and getting used to it. The best I seem to able to do is try to find a little peace and hope in the things left that I love, and one of those is writing.   My mom loved reading the blog and last year when I wrote as Toby on Postcards from Elysian Fields. Writing again not only gives me a sense of relief-distraction-fulfillment- it makes me feel close to her again.

Like any other skill, you have to practice to stay in shape, and I'm obviously way out of shape, please be patient.  I will get there.

How often will I write? I don't know, but I'm guessing on the weekend and days off from work.  What will I write about? No idea - but as the amended blog title implies not just baseball could be just about anything.  So this is self-therapy - does that mean lots of digging into your psyche? No, I get enough of that elsewhere, yes I'm doing it to help myself - I know I can be depressing and sentimental - I promise to limit the navel gazing.   Are you finished talking to yourself on this entry? Yes.

In fact, instead of ending with a question, let's end with a declaration of a new beginning: Watch This Space For Further Developments.

Back at the keyboard - Marla Hooch
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