The Thursday Lineup Card: One Liners

It’s the first Thursday Lineup Card for 2008. The major league season is three days old and the minor league season begins today (more or less). Not quite enough baseball to truly ruminate, so let’s set ‘em and knock ‘em down with a few short thoughts and quips.

Groucho Marx: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

Color me surprised: ... at the relatively good outings by the Rangers starting pitchers. And yes, I’m including Jason Jennings – Vidro homer aside – loved all the ground balls and I’m willing to give him a pass on his first couple of outings this season since he’s on the rebound from injury/surgery.

Elayne Boosler: My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop and ask for directions.

Don’t blame Jason: Remember the haranguing Jason Botts took on one local blog for leaving runners on base during Spring Training? Can’t blame him for all the runners left on the first three games of this season – Botts has yet to get an AB. Which many of us knew (unfortunately) might happen. Scott Lucas had the best line about it on his Rangers Rundown Blog: http://www.rangers.scottlucas.com/ “Jason Botts won the battle with [Nelson]Cruz and [Kevin]Mench, for which his reward will be encasement in carbonite at the end of Ron Washington’s bench.

Steven Wright: Hermits have no peer pressure

Out of sync: I’ve used this analogy already for comments I’ve written on Micah’s and Jon’s blogs. Good defensive infields are confident, they make the routine plays every time and know each other’s moves like clockwork. I don’t get that feeling watching Blalock-Young-Kinsler-Broussard. Don’t know if it’s the flu, the weather, or the gears just need some realigning. It is kind of peculiar that note that for once, the IF is a bigger worry than the Rangers OF.

James Thurber: Boys are beyond the range of anyone’s sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months to 90 years.

Josh Hamilton: He’s pretty good isn’t he?

George Carlin: Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

It’s just three games: Nice start by Trey Hillman’s Kansas City Royals – sweeping the vaunted Tigers in Detroit. Okay, it’s just three games, but Trey’s off to a better start as a new manager than someone we know was last season and even this season.

Henny Youngman: Man goes to a psychiatrist, says “Doc, no-one listens to me!” Doctor says “Next!”

Minor Matters: Mike Hindman has updates on his Rangers Farm Report blog http://rangersfarmreport.mlblogs.com/ including correcting some mis-information on Kasey Kiker. Plus, if you absolutely must know who is pitching in Clinton on Monday night, be sure to bookmark the mysteriously named “Shroom’s” Rangers Farm Probables website http://www.my.calendars.net/farmprobs/ for pitchers, audio links and sly remarks. (“King Fu” quotes always appreciated).

Phyllis Diller: I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Sunday’s will never be the same: As I whined about a few weeks ago, Oklahoma City has moved most of their Sunday games to 7:00 p.m. starting in June – that means only three Sunday afternoon games this season. One of them is on Mother’s Day – do you think I might be able to talk Baseball Mom and Mrs. Schemge into spending Mother’s Day at Bricktown Ballpark? Maybe not... I thought I’d only be able to take one Sunday trip up I-35 this season, however, the baseball gods smiled on me. A personal schedule change means a trip to OKC this Sunday, even if I do have to watch Sir Sidney pitch.

Rodney Dangerfield: My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I want a second opinion. He said: “Okay, you’re ugly too.”

Finally: Game reports, photo galleries and over hyping prospects return next week – from Oklahoma City, Opening Day at Frisco…oh yeah and that other home opener too.

Yogi Berra: "The future ain't what it used to be "

Yogi, I couldn’t have said it better myself – Marla Hooch

Call in the orthopedic surgeon – it’s time to knee jerk!

One of the things I love about Rangers Opening Day – is the day after when everyone hyper-analyzes one game of a 162 game season. After listening and reading all about it I decided to join in the fray. A few “random thoughts” from last night’s game.

So where’s the criticism? During Spring Training Evan Grant of the Boring News picked out one particular at bat by Jason Botts - one where he had runners in scoring position that he didn't drive in. Grant wrote about that one AB at least four or five times during the next few weeks. So Evan are we going to hear all about Marlon Byrd’s AB’s last night, you know the ones where he left three runners on in scoring position? I didn’t see it mentioned in today’s game story but I fully expect to read about on your blog and in your weekly Q and A - same exact situation, different player - albeit one that has much higher expectations that Botts - just askin'.

Jim Reeves got it right about the lineup:

“As the Rangers had feared, the Mariners took advantage of a lineup heavily loaded with left-handed hitters, first with Bedard and later by bringing in Eric O'Flaherty to face Josh Hamilton in a key situation in the seventh.

One thing Washington can to do, hopefully by tonight's game, is break up Hamilton and Blalock hitting third and fourth. The manager needs to follow his original plan by moving Bradley into the cleanup spot and hitting Blalock fifth.

Blalock has historically struggled with left-handers, and Hamilton hit just .222 with only one of his 19 homers off left-handers last season. By the second half of last season, the Reds weren't letting Hamilton face many left-handers.

‘Our left-handers are our best hitters,’ Washington said. ‘We certainly can't pinch hit for them.
‘The lefties we have in this league are pretty good. They're going to have to get used to it.’

Here's a suggestion: Do it fast, or it'll be too late.”

Excuses, excuses: Jamey Newberg is one of my best friends - and I know he won't take it personally when I say – please stop complaining about the Rangers being scheduled to open on the road.

The Rangers play 81 games on the road - if they think of themselves as contenders and their fans think the same - then when and where they play shouldn't make a bit of difference. Contenders need play well every game no matter where they open their season, end their season , play on holidays or whatever the weather conditions may be.

Speaking of weather conditions: I really, really hate it when I read or hear one of the media types complain about the weather during a game. Let’s get this straight fellas: you aren’t on the field playing the game. You sit in air conditioned or heated press/radio/TV booths while the rest of us sit in the heat or cold during the game. You pay about 1/10th the price we pay for a hot dog and beer for a catered meal in the press area. You stay in nice hotels and dine at good restaurants on road trips -- all on an expense account re-imbursed by your employer. You get paid to watch and write/describe baseball games. Stop whining – I’ll make you an offer – I’ll gladly switch jobs with you anytime.

Finally, the game itself: it’s one game of a very long season. I knew the Rangers weren’t going to go 162 –0 and other hand I’m pretty sure they won’t finish 0-162 either. Let’s put on our game face, calm down and wait a few weeks before we get all worked up, one way or the other.

As the great Annie Savoy said: “It’s a long season, you gotta trust it.” – Marla Hooch

Welcome To Marla's New Home

This is the new home for Girls Don't Know Anything About Baseball. If you are reading this then I know you visited MLB Blogs and are aware of the problems with their new and supposedly improved format which is the reason that we are now here on Blogsport - the same host as our friend Grant Schiller uses for his excellent "Texas Rangers Trades" website.

All of the posts for the 2007 season and off season will remain on MLB Blogs - however, anything new will be posted here - starting today!

There are several things on this new website still "under construction" - but we should be up and running again in a couple of days with our first entry for the 2008 season.

Thanks for reading Girls Don't Know Anything About Baseball I really do appreciate it - let's play ball! -- Marla Hooch