An Explanation

My explanation starts with a movie I've referenced a long time ago on this blog "Grace Of My Heart" which is based very loosely on the life of songwriter Carole King.

The central character songwriter Denise Waverly (Illena Douglas) marries a Brian Wilson type (brilliant but troubled) songwriter/producer named Jay Phillips (Matt Dillon). He has his "issues" one of them being that he can't find his "muse". In a very haunting scene Jay walks down to the beach alone on stormy evening whistling and calling for his muse (in case you haven't seen the movie - he doesn't come back - apparently drowning in the ocean).

Now, I'm not quite over the edge like Jay - but I can relate to not being able to find my muse. I am enjoying this baseball season, maybe as much as 1986 and 1996 my two favorite Rangers seasons past. The economic downturn has affected my ability and desire to go to Frisco and OKC - but I am still faithfully poring over the box scores and reading Scott Lucas daily reports.

Yet in these exciting and happy days the thought of writing my blog brings up a sense of dread that I can't explain.

Or maybe I can.

The more I read on the Internet, the less I want to read on the Internet. How's that for a conundrum? Freedom of speech is every one's right -- but is there a point where there is just too much speech and not enough listening and contemplation? I admire those fans who can write insightful commentary and analysis of players on their blogs and website. There are many terrific voices about Ranger baseball available to read - and then there are some out there that are just noise. I fear that lately I've become part of the latter and I'm just adding to the volume. It's been a struggle to find something original and interesting to write - which confounds me, makes me angry at myself and mainly sad - because baseball is the best part of my life.

To add some levity to this missive - as Chio Escuela said "baseball has been berry, berry good to me". Because of baseball I've met some of the most precious friends I've had in this lifetime, people who I adore and hope that will be part of my life as long as I am here on earth. I've had some amazing experiences that I could never have imagined when I listened to Tiger games on my red, white and blue transistor radio as a young fan back in Toledo. I'll say it again: baseball is the best part of my life.

But right now, I simply can't find the words to put on this page. I'm hoping that a taking a short sabbatical will help me find my muse as well as some new and better ideas for the next time I write.

Heartfelt thanks to my family, friends and everyone else who reads this blog for your support - I'll be back sooner than later - I hope.

I close with this thought from that fine Irish writer Thomas Moore:

"It's important to be heroic, ambitious, productive, efficient, creative,
and progressive, but these qualities don't necessarily nurture the soul. The
soul has different concerns, of equal value: downtime for reflection,
conversation, and reverie; beauty that is captivating and pleasuring;
relatedness to the environs and to people; and any animal's rhythm of rest and
activity."

Go Rangers! -- Eleanor "Marla Hooch" Czajka
.

I Want To Believe

Anybody remember the “X-Files”?

I wasn’t a member of their legion of fanatics – but I did watch it everyone once in a while – it was different and I’m a fan of different.

Agent Mulder (David Duchovny) had a poster of a UFO in his office that read “I Want To Believe”. I’d like to get a team photo of the 2009 Rangers and write that same phrase on it.

This fan is conflicted.

Before the season started, I wrote that I felt this was still a developmental year. I still try to hold onto that thought – but I feel like I am being assaulted with those who think this is the year the Rangers should be handling the team as if it’s playoff bound.

There are miles of bandwidth and airwaves proposing that the Rangers should be re-aligning their batting order and talking trades for middle relievers and big bats. I want to make that leap of faith with those kinds of fans. But 30 years of being a disappointed Rangers fan makes me hesitant to embrace that kind of belief.

Trying to explain my reluctance I recalled a recurring character on the X-Files known as The Cigarette Smoking Man. He was a clandestine agent with far reaching powers to change world events. During one episode when he going through a to-do list of those events he remarked that he made sure “the Buffalo Bills will never win the Super Bowl”. I sometimes wonder if there isn’t a Cigarette Smoking Man among the baseball gods who says “the Texas Rangers will never make it to the World Series”.

The irrational little girl waving the pom-poms is just dying for another season like ’96, ’98 or ’99 – I long to have the swagger of one of those AL East team fans who know that their team is consistently good. I want to believe that the young players on this Rangers team have sped past the learning curve, that pitching is going to hold on and that the injuries will finally catch up with the Angels.

On the other hand, the logical long - suffering fan has that nagging little voice in the back of my head reminding me that a 5-7 record against four of the better teams in MLB is not a passing grade, it’s still just June and for heaven’s sakes how many June Swoons have you seen, how many times have those high hopes evaporated in the hot Texas sun, how often have the Rangers broken your heart?

Am I only a lone voice in the wilderness crying out: patience!...stick with the plan!... first place is great, but it’s not the goal this season.

Or am I just a curmudgeon whose beliefs are simply beyond changing?

The intriguing thing about the X-Files was that most episodes left you with more questions than answers which is how I feel about the Rangers today.

I'm still trying to decide which kind of fan I ought to be. Like Mulder and Scully - still searching for an answer - and I know, as the show slogan says "the truth is out there".

Hi Aunt Rita! – Marla Hooch
.

I could use a draft - how about you?

My annual ritual: creating the Newberg Report Draft Page.


It is complete and online.



Right now I could use a pint of Guiness with a shot of Bailey's -- Marla Hooch

Miss Stella Wants To Know

Miss Stella is my roommate, confindant and a baseball fan. She loves baseball season because I'll be sitting on the couch for a good part of the evening, she can curl up on my lap. She loves it when Vincente Padilla pitches since that means I'll be there for a while, she doesn't like it when Chris Davis or Elvis Andrus make a great play (or get a hit) since that means I'll start clapping or occasionally yell some encouragement at the TV - which wakes her up.

Miss Stella is very...um...vocal - just ask the New Mexico Bean, every time she calls Miss Stella can be heard from wherever she is in the house sending greetings to the Bean.

Miss Stella is curious about a few things and thus the title and substance of today's blog entry.

The first thing she wanted to know was: Why did it take me so long to write this week? I don't really have a good answer for that - sometimes life gets in the way of baseball and sometimes I just can't think of anything original to write.

Now she wants to know: Have you changed my mind about Nelson Cruz yet? Not quite - but I am on the verge of saying - maybe I was wrong.

Next thing she wants to know: Why do some of the local wags write so much about Chris Davis's strike out rate - when Jarrod Saltamacchia's is just about the same lately? I have no idea - if you look at the last ten games - Salty has 17 K's and Davis 19 K's.

Miss Stella noted this about these two pitching performances on the road trip:

Derek Holland: 4 2/3 IP, 6 Hits, 4 ER, 1 HR, 2BB, 5K

Brandon McCarthy : 4 IP, 6 Hits, 6 ER, 1 HR, 3BB, 3K

Holland is 22 years old pitching in just his 12th major league game, while McCarthy has 104 games in 4 years in the big leagues. My faithful cat asks: Which pitcher do you feel better about when goes to the mound?

She also wants to know: What minor league numbers caught your eye this week, and are you ever going to another minor league game? First things first - yes I'm going to Frisco on Monday to see Kasey Kiker pitch and I might even write a game report. OKC, I'm not so sure, gas prices being what they are and Sunday games starting at 4:00 p.m. instead of 2:00 p.m. have kind of made me re-think my trips up north. Plus, I'm going to more Ranger games this season - they are closer to Hooch World HQ - and the Rangers are alot more fun to watch this season (and I still love those $10.00 Friday night tickets and $5.00 parking).

The minor league numbers that caught my eye are all pitching: the leaders in IP at AAA and AA are also the leaders in ERA - which appears to be a pretty good thing. Those pitchers are: OKC's RHP Doug Mathis 56 IP - 2.89 ERA (and now holding down a spot in the major league bullpen) and Frisco's LHP Kasey Kiker 52 1/3 IP with a 2.92 ERA. The other number that still intrigues me is Yoo Hee Nam at Class A Hickory: 38 IP, 12 BB, 35 K - 0.71 ERA - I know it's low A ball - but those are some very nice numbers.

When you are not watching baseball, or working, or "having a life" (as you so often say to no-one in particular - but I do hear you) what have you been doing? I've read a couple of good books including Laura Lippman's latest (not a Tess Monaghan story - but still an excellent read) "Life Sentences" and "Old City Hall" - the first novel by Toronto based writer Robert Rotenberg that I would also recommend. I've already set the TIVO this week for the premier episodes of "The Closer" and "Saving Grace". I've left ymy roommate alone on a couple of Sunday afternoons while I went to the movies: "Angels and Demons"-- wait for the video - it's okay - but I'm just not big Dan Brown fan - and I'm not sure what kind of grudge Ron Howard has against the Catholic Church - it's a bit disturbing. "Night At The Museum 2: Battle Of The Smithsonian" - just as much as the first - Hank Azaria is one of the most verstile and talented actors I've ever seen. He was hilarious. (Just a little bragging - I saw him on Broadway in "Spamalot" when the Dickie Thon Fan Club Girls Dorm did 4 plays in 4 days - he was fantastic - it was also a great trip)

Final question: Where are my Pounce treats? Let's go downstairs to the kitchen and find them.

No pepper on grass and watch out for hairballs - Miss Stella and Marla Hooch
.

Alejandro's Whole Dirt Catalog

Alejandro ascends from the shoulders of the always under construction I-30 to ponder the fact that the Rangers will still be leading the AL West on June 1st.

The Oracle of the Chat Room: When asked if the Baltimore trade for Adam Jones from Seattle (for the disappointing Erik Bedard) was the best trade of the last ten years - Baseball America’s Jim Callis responded “Check out the Mark Teixeira trade to the Braves.”

The words of the prophets are written on the subways walls: Because they certainly aren’t written by the genius number crunchers at Baseball Prospectus who picked the Rangers remain in the cellar this season. Not saying that it still couldn’t happen but it’s kind of satisfying to chide those who depend solely on numbers with the reality of performance on the field.

The numbers that are worth counting: Did you know hat five of the Rangers eight regular starters are in the top ten of fielding percentage for their positions in the AL?

Chris Davis – tied for 1st at 1.000
Ian Kinsler – 5th place at .988
Elvis Andrus – 9th place at .967
Michael Young – 3rd place at .967
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – tied for 4th at .995

Meanwhile the Rangers are 4th in AL Fielding with a .987 FP and have the 5th fewest errors at 24

“But how many of you that sit and judge me have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?”: The Rangers High A Ball affiliate located Bakersfield has it’s share of …um…challenges with that team ownership. Add this one, as noted by ever entertaining Scott Lucas: “In the 7th, Stockton’s radio announcer mentioned that impending rain could be problematic because Bakersfield doesn’t own a tarp.”

One more number that counts: Rangers RHP Kevin Millwood ERA of 3.25 put him in the top 10 in AL ERA ( 8th place)

Birthdays: Currently unemployed former Ranger OF Kenny Lofton turns 42, currently employed Rangers Director of Player Development Scott Servais is also turning 42 this week. Cub RHP Carlos Zambrano will celebrate his 28th birthday serving a 6 game suspension for his antics last week. Ewart Gladstone Walker who had a short career as a pitcher with Washington from 1909-1912 was born this week in 1887 – you are probably more familiar with two of his sons who were also baseball players: Harry “The Hat” Walker and “The People’s Choice” Dixie Walker. Is Travis Hafner really 32 years old this week? Is Einar Diaz's hair still on fire? The other Hall of Famer born on June 5th 1874 is “Happy” Jack Chesbro. And Stepfather Extraordinaire Neil F. Gibson, Jr is 73 and appropriately attending the Ranger – A’s game Sunday afternoon courtesy of a grateful stepdaughter.

Last Call: From mentor and friend T.R. Sullivan’s article on Chris Davis’s current woes at the plate:

"So what does Davis need?

'A hug,' he said."

Marla Hooch has volunteered to help out with that.

Usted no está envejeciendo, que son cada vez major -- Alejandro

.

Never Forget

There were two articles on the CNN website that struck me this past week.

The first was an article about Secretary of Defense Robert Gates that included this quote:

"Since the hour I was sworn in as secretary of defense, 1,327 American men and women in uniform have been killed in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan; 10,443 have been wounded. Each of them is in my thoughts and prayers every day"

The other was about Section 60 at Arlington Cemetery.

Monday is a solemn holiday that, unfortunately, too many don't remember or bother to acknowledge.

I know fans are very excited about the Rangers/Yankees series, especially the game on Monday afternoon. But let's not forget the ultimate sacrifice made by men and women thoughout U.S. history that is the reason most of us have the day off to watch baseball on Monday.

Taps (Traditional)

Day is done

Gone the sun

From the hills

From the lakes

From the skies

All is well

Safely rest

God is nigh

Go to sleep

Peaceful sleep

May the soldier or sailor

God keep

On the land or the deep

Safe in sleep

-- Marla Hooch
.