Don't You Miss....?

"Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. "
~ Bertold Brecht

Change is inevitable, some of it is good, some is not. One of the few things I’ve finally learned is that adjusting to change will usually increase your opportunity to enjoy life.

However, you still can’t help but miss a few things that aren’t the same anymore.

Don’t you miss the Rolling Stone magazine you read in the late 70’s and 80’s? The one with great “think” pieces by Mikal Gilmore and Anthony DeCurtis, and PJ O’Rourke (his trip to still Communist Warsaw made me laugh until my sides hurt) Christopher Connelly’s reviews (and his ABBA apologies) and of course the weirdly attractive articles by Hunter Thompson. The College Issue was always worth looking foward to each year. I picked up a copy of RS several months ago – I didn’t recognize 95% of the recording artists they were talking about and I guess that their current audience can’t read an article that is longer 3 or 4 paragraphs.

Don’t you miss music videos on VH1? I’ll admit it: I liked music videos. Some of them were pretty clever and at times even a little better than that, does anyone remember Van Halen’s video for “Right Now” – maybe one of the best ever. VH1 has turned into some kind of reality TV clone, it seems the only videos they are showing are 10 year old re-runs of Pop Up Video on VH1 Classic.

Don’t you miss being able to read Peter Gammons for free on ESPN.com? Sorry but I just can’t bring myself to pay even a nominal fee out my hard earned salary to the world wide leaders of “snark”.

Don’t you miss blog entries: like this one on Postcards From Elysian Fields?

Don’t you miss those wonderful warm, cream cheese filled, sugar coated soft pretzels at the Dr. Pepper Ballpark in Frisco? They had those at the concession stands for one season (2003) and never again…too bad!

Don’t the ol’ Toledo readers of this blog miss: Faygo’s Red Pop and Rock ‘N Rye, Dudley’s Hot Dogs, the duck soup at Old Oaks, White Hut Hamburgers, Joe Ashton on Dialing for Dollars during the 4 o’clock movie on Channel 11, the Lion Store, Bob Kelley, John Saunders, Gordon Ward, and the soft serve ice cream stand on Reynolds Road near the old library and Walford’s?

Don’t you miss “Later” with Bob Costas? I worked the evening shift at the front desk of the Stoneleigh Hotel for a couple of years, when I arrived home at midnight – I always tuned into “Late Night with David Letterman” and “Later” on NBC. You either love Costas or hate him (I love him) this show was great – his interviews with Paul Simon and Paul McCartney were memorable.

Don’t you miss real Top 40 radio? I grew up listening to CKLW and WTOD – where you were likely to hear a Marvin Gaye tune, followed by a Led Zepplin song and then maybe Jeannie C. Reilly’s “Harper Valley PTA”. Take a look at the Billboard charts from 30 years ago – everyone listened to a wide range of music – I’d like to think it made us a little more open minded.

Don’t you miss warriors like Rick Helling and Bobby Witt in the Rangers starting rotation? I remember a game at Chicago during the 1997 season , the weather was terrible, windy, rainy – truly miserable. Bobby Witt stayed on the mound and pitched one heck of a game. I keep reading that Kevin Millwood has that kind of warrior mentality – it would be nice if he stayed off the DL so we could all see if that is true.

Don’t you miss “Sports Illustrated”? I saw a copy while in my dentist’s office the other day. I was shocked at how thin the magazine is, how the once thoughtful writing now caters to the short-attention span audience. The issue naming the 1980 Olympic Hockey team as the sportsman of the year is probably one of the finest piece of sports writing you will read. Just my opinion – but the last good issue of SI was the week after 9/11 – moving, respectful, loved Rick Reilly’s column.

Don’t you miss "SCTV"? Edith Prickly, Brock Linehan, Sammy Maudlin, Count Floyd (“very scary stuff”) The Great White North, Bobby Bitman, Dr. Tongue, Lola Heatherton, Ed Grimley (“I must say”) – I’m already laughing while type this (and I know Mike Hindman is too!)


Don’t you miss “The Game of Week” on NBC with Curt Gowdy and Tony Kubek? Okay, in ancient times we were limited to one national game on Saturday afternoon – while now there is a national game four or five times a week. But I’m old enough to remember that it was a different set of teams every week – not just the Red Sox and Yankees. Check the ESPN and Fox schedule - there is a NY team or Boston game scheduled every week.

I know many of us still miss Mark Holtz, and always will. One of my favorite memories is a September Saturday night – the Rangers were out of contention (as they always were back then) Mark was reading college football scores with Eric naming the mascots for all the schools – it’s hard to put into words – but if you heard and remember then you are smiling too. And... don't you miss Ranger games on WBAP? - no matter where you were you could pick up the radio signal - I live in Arlington about 4 miles from the Ballpark and when I drive down Bowen Rd. the current KRLD signal fades in and out.

Don’t you miss the real “Sports Central” with Brad Sham? Not the very poor imitation that is on the air now. Brad's show had no bombast, no over hype or poorly thought out rants – just thoughtful commentary and interviews. Plus I think that Brad Sham was the best of Eric Nadel’s radio partners (after Mark Holtz) – and I understand why Cowboys fans wanted him back on their broadcasts.

And if you’ll indulge me for just a minute: I still miss my Aunt Mitzi’s smile, Uncle Steve’s wry wit, Oscar and Sophie’s kind friendship, Grandpa Lewandowski’s cigar, Granma Lewandowski’s chicken soup, Granma Czajka’s back porch, talking with Mr. K, Aunt Jo’s big hugs, the welcome at Uncle John’s and Aunt Harriet’s home, Uncle Art’s hearty laugh and so many more family and friends who aren’t with us anymore.

“In this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost.”
~ (Unknown)


-- Marla Hooch

The Wrong Game Report

Does anyone remember the game the Rangers game played on July 27, 1994?

There were 35,000 plus tickets sold. The Rangers lost to the Twins 1-0 . The losing pitcher was John Dettmer who pitched 7 1/3 innings giving up one run. That winning run was scored in the first inning on a single by the late Kirby Puckett (driving in the always annoying Chuck Knoblauch).

Of course, everyone remembers the game the next day – July 28, 1994 – it’s chapter 14, on page 197 in the book “Perfect”.

Why do I bring this up?


Because I went to Frisco this weekend to watch a baseball game – not the one that's being written and talked about on Sunday – I was at Saturday night’s game. The one no-one, except me, will write about.

The game was interesting – Michael Schlact had another rough outing – 6 IP – 10 Hits – 5 ER 4 BB – 1 K. He left in the 7th without recording an out and San Antonio (Padres) leading 5-4. Brian Gordon came in got the Riders out of the inning without allowing any of inherited runners to score, and pitched well in the 8th and 9th (1 hit, 0BB, 3K) to earn the win. On the offensive side of things – Max Ramirez did not start the game – came in the bottom of the 8th as a pinch hitter (and promptly grounded into a double play) Chris Davis struck out twice and was intentionally waked in the 8th inning – and wound up scoring the winning run on LF Dustin Majewski’s single.

A few things I noticed: I knew it was going to be nice afternoon when Chris Davis took the time to smile and wave …. Ben Harrison has a really cheesy mustache (see the photo gallery)… since I published a picture of Steven Murphy in his fetching pink uniform top previously, I felt I had to publish a more “manly” picture of him in his regular uniform top (also in the very brief photo gallery for this game)…as I wrote on another blog – you’ve heard players say that the double play is a “pitcher's best friend” – I’m here to tell you that Elvis Augusto Andrus all by himself is “the pitcher's best friend”… Frisco turned four double plays during Saturday’s game – two of them started by Andrus – his defense definitely lives up to the hype - by the way Elvis is hitting .286 in his last 10 games…RHP Tommy Hunter was sitting a couple rows in front of me charting pitches and definitely enjoying the change of venue from Bakersfield … C Tim Gradoville showed some real chutzpah by bunting with 2 strikes in the 2nd inning – and yes, he got the bunt down and was called safe at 1st – although some of us were under the impression that the 1st base umpire was being very generous to Riders all afternoon.

But in the end, Saturday’s game was just a prelude to bigger things the next day….

P.S. Baseball Mom and I were at Kenny Rogers perfect game on July 28, 1994 – and I have the ticket stub to prove it -- Marla Hooch

One Of Those Jamey Newberg - Like Short Posts

Josh Hamilton: non est ei simlis

The Rangers have a better record than the last place Yankees.

I get to watch Monster Max and Chris Davis in person, at Frisco tonight.

Don't you just love baseball? -- Marla Hooch

Genuine or Imitation?

Diamond or Zirconia?
Platinum or Polished Tin?
Sugar or Splenda?
Victory Park or Glory Park?
Montblanc or Papermate?
Dilithium Crystals or Crystal Lite?

The Texas Rangers, contenders or pretenders? I can’t decide.

Think about it: since Spring Training four of the five projected starting pitchers (Kevin Millwood, Jason Jennings, Kason Gabbard and Justin Thompson…I mean Brandon McCarthy) were or are still spending time on the DL.

They've gone 12-5 over the last 3+ weeks with a pitching staff that includes:

• a mecurical enigma (Vincente Padilla)
• a guy who didn’t even have a job in Spring Training (Sidney Ponson)
• a pitcher who prior to this season had pitched almost exclusively as a reliever his entire time in the organization (Scott Feldman)
• two pitchers whose combined major league experience was less than 50 IP (Luis Mendoza and AJ Murray)
• a bullpen that is less experienced and little less dependable than last season’s

If Rudy Jarmillo gets all the headlines for being good at what he does --then in my never humble opinion -- pitching coach Mark Connor is a Miracle Worker ( and since I don’t have a picture of Mr. Connor – you get the late, great Anne Bancroft from the movie “The Miracle Worker”).

The regular third baseman has been hurt most of the season so far, there is absolutely no production from 1B, the catching situation is an unhappy merry-go-round and the current position players include two who barely appeared in AAA (Boggs and Duran) before being called up to the majors.

The half glass full optimist in me says that the baseball gods have finally smiled a little on this franchise that they’ve routinely ignored and their luck might continue.

Meanwhile, my half empty glass skeptic side says: they are still two games under .500 and they had to go into extra innings twice with a team with only a marginally worse record (Seattle). Their last 13 games have been against the mild, mild AL West opponents. I’m still of the opinion that this division is Angels in first – and then everyone else in a dogfight to stay out of the cellar.

Let’s see what happens when the Rangers face a some new, different and a little more formidable teams like the surprising Astro’s, as well as the Twins, the first place Indians and very stong Tampa Bay Rays – then maybe I’ll be able to decide – are the Rangers for real?

Minor Matters: Checking the leader boards finds Ranger prospects in the top ten in all four minor leagues.

PCL: OF Nelson Cruz is #10 in the batting race with a BA of .336
Texas League: C “Monster” Max Ramirez is # 2 in BA at .383, teammate 1B Chris Davis is # 7 with a .322 BA. Davis also leads the Texas League with 10 HR and his 31 RBIs are 3rd in the TL.
California League: OF and 2007 Draftee Julio Borbon is #8 in the Cal League batting at .321
Midwest League: Three Clinton players are in the top 10 batting wise: coming in at #3 IF Ian Gac hitting .351, at #5 is SS Renny Osuna at .333 and #10 is OF Tim Smith with a .318 BA.

(The picture on the right of Tim Smith - also from the 2007 Draft Class - is courtesy of our good friend and Lumberkings baseball goddess Lacey)

Random Thoughts ---

You should have been there: There are those who scoff at the Newberg Report events – “just minor leaguers” I’ve been told. Well, if you had attended this past December’s or January’s events you’d have met (current) major leaguers IF German Duran and RHP Doug Mathis.

Let’s have another meeting and start on yet another new plan: Scribblings and innuendo in both the Dallas Observer and DMN point to the fact that Tom Hicks and Nolan Ryan have been “meeting” and if the Rangers fortunes hadn’t changed so quickly the past two weeks both Jon Daniels and Ron Washington would have been out of work by now, and may still wind up on the unemployment line no matter what happens this season. What did I expect? It’s Tom Hicks, his sports business philosophy is akin to that old saying about Texas weather – “wait ten minutes and [he’ll] change [the plan] again”.

I told you it was a bad idea: According to the headlines in today’s Startlegram – plans for Glory Park have been delayed “indefinitely”. Arlington Mayor Bob Cluck says “We’ll not invest any money in parking garages or anything else until the project is started." Tom Hicks says: “ I think it’s a place where people will want to go to have fun instead of shopping, at least that what the markets are telling us.”

Oh really.

Warning sign: When AJ Murray uncorked a Nuke La Loosh type ball at the LF seats about 2 feet away from me during warm-ups on Sunday – I should’ve figured he didn’t have his best control – (see the game report below this entry from May 13). The ball flew over catcher Taylor Teagarden’s head into the stands then banged off the metal seats loud enough to wake anyone up who was sleeping late at the Marriott across the street from the ballpark.

Speaking of signs: OKC’s Bricktown Ballpark is celebrating their 10th anniversary with banners honoring “fan favorites”. Looking at the banners was like reading the archives of the old “Newberg Minor League Report” forum with names like Greg Biagini, Andy Barkett, R.A. Dickey and Brian Hayes' favorite Pedro Valdez.

Indy Ball: I work in Grand Prairie, right across the street (literally) from the new stadium built for the Grand Prairie Air Hogs of the American Association Independent League. That stadium construction cost me a new tire – but all was forgiven when I walked out to my car for lunch the other day and they were playing “Centerfield” on their PA system. As of the day I’m writing this they are 0-4 – not an auspicious start for new manager Pete Incaviglia.

Finally: One more “Indy” note, only seven days until the premiere of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull".

Still hoping I'll find the “Real Thing” -- Marla Hooch

Pretty In Pink

If you were around in the 80’s then you have to admit that the lead singer of the Psychedelic Furs, Richard Butler, had one of the best voices in Rock ‘n Roll … at least until Eddie Vedder came along.

So what is the connection to baseball?

Well, I like typing Psychedelic Furs – it makes me giggle – one of their best known songs is "Pretty In Pink" which inspired the John Hughes film by the same name (Harry Dean Stanton is the best part of an otherwise so-so movie). The photo gallery is full of pictures of Ranger minor leaguers wearing pink uniform tops to support women’s charities.

May 3rd – Midland @ Frisco: I went to Frisco expecting to see Michael Ballard pitch, instead we got a Kason Gabbard’s rehab start. When I read the next day on MLB.com that the rehab start had gone really well – I thought – was I watching the same game?

Granted, Gabbard breezed through the first 3 innings – but then again he was facing Oakland’s AA team. But he struggled with his control in the 4th – giving up a hit and 3 walks (walking in a run) – coincidentally it was the second time through the Rockhounds batting order and they weren’t swinging at the same pitches they did in the first three innings. I’d have called that start – inconsistent.

Ben Harrison and Chris Davis both hit HR’s. The game went into extra innings, the Riders won one of the oddest plays I’ve seen in a while: with one out and the bases loaded in the 10th Steve Murphy hit an IF squibber that the first baseman couldn’t handle – Thomas Berkey scored from 3rd – game over the Riders win.

Speaking of Steve Murphy he is pictured above in his pink uniform top – this was the Riders “Paint The Park Pink” weekend sponsored by the Mary Kay Corporation with proceeds going to the Mary Kay charity that works with victims of domestic abuse. More pictures from the game at this link.

May 11 – Fresno @ OKC: It was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon in OKC – no sign of the stormy weather that moved through the state the previous night. Doug Mathis was the scheduled starting pitcher, however, I found out when I arrived at Bricktown Ballpark that he’d been called up to the major league team. In his spot we were going to watch AJ Murray, sporting a new full beard, on the mound. Marlon Byrd was rehabbing and playing LF.

The RedHawks were wearing pink uniform tops in honor of the Susan G. Komen Foundation for Fighting Breast Cancer. They conducted an auction during the game for the uniform tops and the OKC players presented the tops to the winners after the game - the proceeds of the auction going to the Komen foundation. Click here to see more pictures of the boys in there groovy pink uniform tops.

The good news first: Marlon Byrd on a rehab assignment looked fine in OF – no lingering knee problems and just as fine at the plate going 3 for 4. Nate Gold, who has struggled early this season, was a perfect 4 for 4 with 2 RBI’s. OF Jason Ellison is as much fun to watch as his counterpart in the majors (Brandon Boggs), and it was good too see Taylor Teagarden crouching behind the dish, getting a hit and a walk. Plus you gotta love Ryan Roberts – the only professional baseball player whose walk up music is Celtic reel.

Now for the bad news: the game was a disaster for OKC’s pitchers. AJ Murray gave up 10 hits in 5 innings (and 5 runs) Bill White recorded 1 out and then couldn’t get anyone else out giving up 5 more runs on 4 hits and 1 walk in just 1/3rd of an inning. Kameron Loe and Yuki Maeda pitched much better than their lines in the box score. Both pitchers gave up runs that should have been unearned due to atrocious fielding by John Mayberry Jr.

In the 6th Fresno’s Clay Timpner hit a fly ball to RF – it’s debatable if Junior could have caught the ball. What is not up for debate is the absolute lack of hustle Mayberry showed going after the ball when it fell to the ground. He jogged – no maybe a better description is walked after the ball – while Timpner ran to 3rd . Meanwhile one of the RedHawks IF visibly gestured his frustration to pitcher Loe and I whole heartedly agreed with him.

In the 8th with Maeda pitching Mayberry again missed a fly ball that fell in maybe 2 or 3 feet front of him. Instead of moving (one foot in front of the other) in front to catch the ball he just stood in place and tried to reach out to catch the ball – it fell to the ground and so did Junior – and a run scored. Extremely frustrating to watch. Many in the crowd were … um…. very vocal with their thoughts on the play. I was shocked reading the box score the next day – all the runs were earned, no errors charged to Mayberry.

Finally: Why was I in Oklahoma City on Mother’s Day ?

I’ll have you know Baseball Mom sent me to OKC with a big hug for Ol’ Number 25 on the RedHawks – which I gladly delivered. Besides, New Mexico Bean, Mrs. Schmenge, and I (along with special guest Aunt Cath-eye) had already celebrated Mother’s Day on Saturday night with Baseball Mom at a terrific dinner at Ruffino’s in Fort Worth – lots of good food, wine and laughter made it a perfect Mother’s Day Eve.


Back with the regular blog nonsense on Thursday.

Have to say it: sorry major leaguers – pink bats are a cop out. Real men, like the Riders and RedHawks, wear pink uniform tops look and “pretty” good doing it. Thank you guys -- Marla Hooch

The Rangers Down The Rabbit Hole

“The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed to be a very deep well. Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her, and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything....”

-- from Lewis Carroll’s “Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland”

During a conversation with a baseball friend the other day – the only way I found to describe the Rangers and what I thought of their season so far was the image from Alice in Wonderland - as if this team was falling into the rabbit-hole, careening downward with no idea “what in the world was going to happen next”.

Alice has quite a few things to say about this week’s blog, so let us commence:

“Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know.' ”

The thing that I do know is minor league baseball.

Two short game reports this week: Saturday April 26th –Corpus Christi (Houston) @ Frisco: a warm and tasty dinner at Buca di Beppo followed by a chilly evening of AA baseball in Frisco with Mrs. Schmenge and Baseball Mom. Being truthful: it wasn’t a terribly exciting game – Trey Hodges held the Hooks to just four hits – except that two them were home runs. The highlights of the evening were Ben Harrison’s game winning HR, the fact that none of us knew that Brian Gordon had been added to the Frisco roster and the scout who accidentally flipped a sunflower seed into Baseball Mom’s Dr. Pepper – he must have been a former pitcher because that was a long way and it was also placed accurately. Frisco won on Harrison’s HR 3-2.

Sunday April 27th – Corpus Christi @ Frisco: No, I didn’t go to OKC as originally planned – a cold morning rain (and lots of dark green all the way long I-35 north on the weather.com radar map) convinced me to stay home (it turned out to be a nice day in OKC – oh well). So instead I headed up to Frisco again – this time to see another start by Michael Schlact – but more importantly I wound up sitting with my favorite AA fans: Erin and Mia Hindman (as well as their dad Mike). We were joined later in the game by Scott Lucas. That old saying about “lies, damned lies and statistics” applied to Schlact’s outing – he breezed through the first four innings getting 6 outs on ground balls. In the fifth did give up five runs – but only one really hard hit ball (a double by Richard Paz) the rest were dinks, and ground balls “with eyes”. Michael came out in the 6th got two more outs on ground balls and was finished for the day. If he can figure out how to avoid the big inning -- Michael’s ground ball outs will move him up the ladder to the Ballpark quickly. We dubbed Frisco relief pitcher Alfred Gonzalez as Franklyn German’s “mini-me”.

Offensively – John Mayberry, in what would turn out to be his last weekend in Frisco – hit a towering HR to left field, Elvis Andrus turned a bobbled ball by the Hooks right fielder into a triple, while Steve Murphy continued to put the ball in play with two doubles. But the Riders couldn’t catch up to the Hooks and lost 6-4.

There are pictures from all the Frisco games I attended in the photo gallery.

Quality and quantity:
Clinton: RHP Blake Beavan’s professional debut: 6 IP, 3 H, 0 BB, 3 K, 0 ER
Bakersfield: LHP Kasey Kiker’s 2nd start: 7 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, 4 K, 3 ER
OKC: LHP A.J. Murray last full start before being called up: 6 IP, 7H, 2 BB, 5 K, 0 ER

Major League: Do you believe in miracles? RHP Vincente Padilla 9 IP, 7 H, 2 BB, 2 K, 0 ER

This item fit in with the theme of this week’s blog (since “Alice in Wonderland has often been described as “literary nonsense”):

Premiered at Robert De Niro’s Tribeca Film Festival – “The Zen of Bobby V” -- here is the description: “Making its debut at this year's Tribecca Film Festival is a documentary directed by 3 NYU students — Andrew Jenks, Andrew Muscato, and Jonah Quickmire Pettigrew — following baseball guru-turned-Japanese rockstar Bobby Valentine "through a season of baseball in Japan”

[Insert your own witty comments here.]

Finally:

"Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.' "

11-18, more losses than any other team in baseball, yet 4 wins on this homestand – a turning point or an outlier? Can this team survive with three of the supposed mainstays of the starting rotation already on the DL, with one corner IF injured, the other corner a revolving door of dreadful performances and a surprisingly unreliable bullpen.

“The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking round.' ”

This franchise has too often reacted instead of acted, changed direction so often it resembles a mad dog chasing its own tail. I thought that starting last season there was a “plan” – even if born of economic inertia on the owner’s part – to build a core of young players from within that was emboldened by the example of the success of Colorado Rockies last season. But…as always ownership appears to be wavering – rebuilding pains are too tough on the pocket book and even worse in newspapers and from the electronic windbags who thrive on the misfortunes at TBiA. I suspect that in his normal panic stricken mode, we’ll see Tom Hicks reacting like the Queen of Hearts.

"`I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.''

Other bloggers and pundits who actually get paid for their ramblings will tell you that they have the answers which include: firing the manager, firing the GM, trading the “face of the franchise” or as the Queen of Hearts said to Alice: “`Sentence first--verdict afterwards.”

I don’t have an answer, as a fan I am as confused as Alice at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.
What is going to be and had been decided in the offices on Ballpark Way and the houses in Highland Park and Alvin can only be described as "curiouser and curiouser.”

I will say this: while I’m not a fan of the manager, I do think he deserves the opportunity to continue to manage for at least this season. As opined by Toby’s best friend – “the plan” has only been in place since mid-July of 2007- hardly enough time to be fully operational and produce results. Whether it’s a good plan or not – the architect of the plan deserves more time to continue to implement it. As much respect as I have for the team president – he too is a novice at major league baseball operations and shouldn’t rush to hasty judgments based on a very short experience (something like just 38 AB’s).

I’ve been through this 29 other baseball seasons as a Ranger fan. Today I can only defer to the wisdom of the Chesire Cat:

" 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Chesire Cat.
`I don't much care where--' said Alice.
`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.
`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat."

-- Marla Hooch